The last time we spoke with Kelly Mittendorf, we discussed her evolution from leaving home at 16, to stepping into her own truths, coming ‘out’ during a pandemic, and giving herself space to explore who her most authentic self was. Now, two years later, we’re seeing how far she has come.
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Q: Tell us about the last two years – how has your relationship with yourself grown and evolved?
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A: It’s been such a joy to revisit this series and realize how cheek-crampingly happy I am now. Not to gush, but we all need to take moments to recognize progress and this public forum seems to be it for me!
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I’m so insanely proud of her, and so grateful she took care of herself even when (especially when) it was terrifying to do so.
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The majority of my adult life has been spent pouring so much energy into fitting a mold, that I didn’t have the emotional resources to pause and evaluate, “why?” These days, the only expectations I care to meet are my own (the concept of a mold has been wholly removed). Even buzzing my hair to get a fresh start on my perception of my physical self helped me to feel grounded in myself – taking that chance, saying yes, could be so wonderful and I’ll be ok if it's not.
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A: When I decided to publicly come out and uproot my life in the middle of a pandemic and move back to Brooklyn, I was a little broken hearted and the decision was, admittedly, a little impulsive. I thought my physical location would be my romantic-comedy moment to myself and shockingly, it didn’t go according to script. What I am so lucky to have gained along the way is the joy of being run-into-each-other-unexpectedly-on-my-block proximity to my closest friends and how special it is to have a partner to experience it all with. Being with her and being loved by her means those parts of my life I used to take on with measured seriousness because I was afraid are now airy.
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Q: If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be?
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A: Being a kid is incredibly valid. Having been thrust into a professional industry at 15, my formative years were spent trying to catch up to peers who were further along in life than I was. Especially because understanding my queerness and embracing the queer community is incredibly important to me, I wish she got to have a little of that in that era. Maybe the hint I’d give younger me is, “there’s a reason you don’t have a crush on any of the boys in school, and it’s not just because you hate school.”
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Q: Going forward, where are you looking to show up as a support system for others in your life?
A: Continuing to work on myself feels like a really important part of ensuring I’m being just as patient and kind with my loved ones. Additionally, part of exploring my queerness has been understanding what a community mindset really is and how I’ve benefited from that early in my journey. Something my partner and I bonded over early on is how we want to center our lives around giving back to the LGBTQIA+ community. I’ve taken that to mean wealth redistribution, supporting mutual aid, and ensuring when I do take on projects they ultimately support queer creatives financially.
Photographed by Lauren Daccache
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